Steven Finn: Saying I was not selectable was clumsy language and it damaged me'

"I couldn't get the words out because I was crying, Steven Finn says as he remembers how, hunched over a microphone, he stared at the last lines he was meant to read aloud for the audio version of his raw and revealing new book. Emotion clogged his throat after he had belonged to three Ashes-winning England squads, while never feeling he fulfilled his immense wicket-taking talent, and having ended up lost and broken on the 2013-14 tour of Australia."

"I learned that the stuff in the book is still raw and emotional, more so than I realised, the amiable and intelligent former fast bowler says now. He maintains eye contact throughout our interview, his honesty matching the book's unflinching tone. When you're talking to a therapist, you learn how to not let it extrapolate to a point where it's really bad. But writing the book, and reading it, evoked emotions that still hurt me."

"In his 36 Tests he took 125 wickets. When he retired two years ago, Mike Atherton's tribute included this telling line: For all the ups and downs, only 24 fast or fast-medium bowlers have taken more Test wickets for England. But Finn is candid. A lot of those emotions are still there: embarrassment, shame, letting people down. They remain because I could and should have done a lot more."

Steven Finn became tearful while recording the final lines of an audio project, revealing emotions that remain raw. He belonged to three Ashes-winning England squads yet often felt he did not fulfil his wicket-taking potential. He finished the 2013-14 Australia tour feeling lost and broken. Finn played 126 times for England across formats, taking 254 wickets, including 125 in 36 Tests, and retired two years ago. He admits to lingering embarrassment, shame and the sense of letting people down, but also expresses pride in his resilience and personal growth after a difficult career.

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