"PROGRAMMING NOTE: This is my last Funbag of 2025. I'm headed out on Christmas break with my family, so we'll have a guest host or two minding the store while I'm gone. Same deal with the Jamboroo. As always, you can still write into our guest bloggers using the usual Funbag email address, so get on that. And have yourself a merry little Christmas, won't you?"
"They allow your bosses, your apps, and your brand overlords to poke you constantly ... to remind you that they exist, and that you should always be ready to hop to if they require your attention. This is why I have all of my phone notifications toggled to OFF, except for calls and texts. Naturally, I get a push alert if someone emoji replies me. It's annoying."
"Because the masters of the universe that forced you to use Outlook at work would yell at Microsoft if Microsoft's product didn't send notifications to all of their employees, all of the time. Duh. Seriously though, turn off all of your non-emergency push alerts. My kids' phones light up every half second like they're living inside of a fucking casino. It's unhealthy to have your phone always pulling at your pant leg constantly. So don't let it."
The Funbag covers topics including Joe Burrow, karate kicking a door shut, LARRY, and Christmas cookies. The host announces a Christmas break and says guest hosts will run the Funbag and the Jamboroo while family time happens. Readers are invited to continue writing to the guest bloggers via the usual Funbag email. The piece characterizes push notifications as tools of corporate control and urges turning off non-emergency alerts, noting emoji replies and constant phone lighting as particularly annoying. The host expresses affection for the thumbs-up emoji and defends a fondness for ’80s schlock-rock like Def Leppard.
Read at Defector
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