"I'm a 20-year-old woman, and I am having a lot of trouble figuring out my sexuality. I've been identifying as bi, but I have no experience dating or having sex, and I'd rather wait to have sex until I'm in a committed relationship. I have sexual fantasies that are usually BDSM-related and mostly involve women and sometimes men. The thing is, I'm not sure if I'm into women or just the BDSM part of these fantasies."
"I feel like I also actively avoid fantasizing about men, and I don't like it when I'm attracted to them, because I'm scared it will end up being stronger than my attraction for women and make me not into them. I've found people of multiple genders hot. But I've also heard about aesthetic attraction, and I'm not sure how to tell if I want to date them or sleep with them or not. I keep second-guessing myself."
A 20-year-old woman identifies as bisexual but has no dating or sexual experience and prefers to wait for a committed relationship. Sexual fantasies are mostly BDSM-related and primarily involve women, sometimes men. The woman is unsure whether attraction to women reflects sexual orientation or BDSM interest. She actively avoids fantasizing about men and fears male attraction could override female attraction. She experiences aesthetic attraction and romantic uncertainty, having had crushes but not love. Desire to date a woman conflicts with fear of being queer for social reasons and anxiety about mislabeling and hurting others. Sex scenes in BG3 and nude animations triggered discomfort and identity doubts.
Read at Slate Magazine
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