"Picture this: You're lying in bed with your partner, and they suddenly get up to use the bathroom. Your body immediately tenses and you find yourself listening intently, wondering what they're really doing. Or maybe you're working from home and your partner walks into your office without warning. That split-second of panic hits before you remember you're not doing anything wrong. Sound familiar? If your parents never knocked before entering your room growing up, these reactions might feel like second nature."
"However, that constant state of alertness you developed as a kid? It didn't just disappear when you moved out. Growing up without basic privacy shapes us in ways we rarely recognize until we're trying to build healthy adult relationships. The hypervigilance, the need for control, the difficulty with intimacy, they all trace back to never knowing when someone might burst through that door."
Childhood lack of privacy teaches a constant state of alertness that persists into adulthood. Adults who grew up without parents respecting doors and knocking often develop hypervigilance, a strong need for control, and difficulty with intimacy. These adults may struggle with personal boundaries, swinging between impenetrable walls and no boundaries at all. They may require advance notice before visits, feel anxious when others are home, and allow invasive behaviors because they believe privacy is unearned. Therapy can help people recognize that wanting personal space is normal and learn healthier boundary-setting and relaxation strategies at home.
Read at Silicon Canals
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