"Each time it occurs, they treat it as if it were unexpected and something entirely new. Or, if they realize that they are in a familiar dilemma, they wonder: "Why does this always happen to me?" One of the things that I do for my clients is teach them to look for what all the different instances have in common and what role they are playing in creating similar issues with different people. Basically, I teach them to think more like a therapist."
"How Do Therapists Discover the Underlying Patterns? As I listen to my clients talk about problems in therapy, I look for any issues that seem to repeat in different forms. I am usually able to see the underlying connections quite easily even though my client cannot. Then I ask a series of questions to encourage the self-reflection that I will help my client explore how the separate instance might be part of one underlying pattern of sensitivities."
Many interpersonal problems that appear distinct are often manifestations of the same underlying issues. Treating each incident separately overlooks common patterns and the client’s recurring role in creating them. Therapists look for shared factors, recurring themes, contributing triggers, and protective elements to clarify why problems reoccur. Clients are taught to compare instances, identify what they have in common, and reflect on how their behaviors and sensitivities contribute. Recognizing contributing factors (fatigue, alcohol, certain people) and protective factors reduces the likelihood of negative experiences and helps prevent repeating similar interpersonal dilemmas.
Read at Psychology Today
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