"But the big challenge I face is that, while I've never liked it much, I now detest the country in which I reside. I intensely dislike the behaviour, the prevailing attitudes, the social and political environment, the city I have to live in, and so on. I just hate it, but I'm stuck here for practical reasons connected with my wife's work and our son's education."
"I was interested in the run-up to this though: the instantly clicking, the quick marriage, and the suddenness with which you began to detest where you live (though you never liked it). What happened? I felt that was key, even if it was just something which unleashed a hatred which had been growing and suddenly seems unsustainable. I went to psychotherapist Mark Vahrmeyer, who thought your letter showed someone who doesn't seem to think about their needs very well. I'm not surprised you feel depressed."
Twenty years ago, an individual married quickly after meeting while working abroad and chose to live in the spouse's country for work reasons. The individual found employment and later permanent residency but abandoned a preferred career and much of their social network. Over time the individual developed intense dislike for the country's behaviour, attitudes, social and political environment, and city, feeling stuck because of the spouse's job and the son's educational costs. This entrenched dissatisfaction has caused depression and feelings of helplessness. A psychotherapist noted a pattern of neglecting personal needs and questioned prior discussions about living arrangements and compromises.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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