Unseen Warning Signs: The Risk of Narcissism in Boys

"After every school shooting, mass shooting, or act of targeted political violence, I've noticed a heartbreaking and consistent theme in my work with families. Mothers often come to me with the same fearful question:"Why does this keep happening with boys-and is my son at risk too?" Most recently, one mother sat across from me, exhausted and tearful, asking if her parenting was somehow creating a "narcissist" in her son. She feared what she was seeing-and even more, what it might mean."

"The fear is real and justified. This pattern of violence among boys cannot be ignored, minimized, or explained away as "isolated incidents." I wanted to understand how violence in young boys connects to upbringing, identity development, and, in some cases, the emergence of violent patterns later in life. Ignoring certain personality traits—especially entitlement, fragile identity, and unchecked narcissism—can have devastating consequences."

"In recent decades, the United States has experienced repeated tragedies: school shootings, mass shootings, and targeted political violence. While there is no single profile for violence, research shows that narcissistic traits like fragile self-esteem, grandiosity, and entitlement often play a role (Bushman, 2017). Narcissism, Fame-Seeking, and Mass Shootings (Bushman, 2017/2018) documents evidence that many shooters display ego vulnerability and a desire for recognition, which can spiral when criticized or rejected."

Repeated U.S. tragedies—school shootings, mass shootings, and targeted political violence—are often linked to narcissistic traits in perpetrators, including fragile self-esteem, grandiosity, entitlement, and fame-seeking. Clinical encounters reveal parents, especially mothers, fear their sons may be at risk, asking if parenting produced dangerous traits. Ego vulnerability and desire for recognition can combine with criticism or rejection to trigger violent escalation. Ignoring developing patterns of entitlement, fragile identity, and unchecked narcissism in boys increases the risk of later violence. Early recognition, targeted parenting strategies, and interventions addressing identity and entitlement are essential to reduce this risk.

Read at Psychology Today