"'They're dead.' In disbelief, my response was unfiltered. 'What?' Followed by the F word. A wave of emotion rushed through me. My chest tightened. My body went cold. I could not immediately find the words to offer condolences, not because I did not feel them deeply, but because inside, my many parts were experiencing a collective shock. When you live with dissociative identity disorder (DID), news like this does not land in one place. It ricochets across all parts within."
"The world lost a beautiful soul and a fierce advocate for survivors of trauma, dissociation, endometriosis, and domestic violence. As I sat with the news, what came forward inside my system was rare unanimity. Every part held the same truth: they were a bright light. A voice for survivors. A presence that made people feel seen, understood, and less alone."
"As I sat across from the ocean this past week, I found myself in a quiet state of shock. The kind that settles into the body before the mind can fully catch up. Toward the end of the week, I received a text message that simply asked, "Did you know so-and-so?" I responded cautiously. "Should I have anxiety?" I am always mindful of not readily disclosing people's connection to me."
Receiving news of an advocate's death provoked immediate shock and intense physical reactions. For people with dissociative identity disorder (DID), the loss affected multiple internal parts simultaneously, producing a collective grief. The deceased served as a visible, comforting presence and a strong advocate for survivors of trauma, dissociation, endometriosis, and domestic violence, making many feel seen and less alone. Advocates often act as external sources of safety and hope for trauma survivors. Healing after such a loss requires attention to individual internal systems as well as care for the broader survivor community and shared social supports.
Read at Psychology Today
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