"After external safety comes internal safety, the next evolutionary step. Learning to speak your truth out loud, what I call "truthing," involves fundamentally shifting the way you define safety from something that's provided by the external response you receive and the current weather in your emotional landscape to an internal state that rests on your own capacity and practice. Your fundamental well-being becomes solid and trustworthy when it is no longer dependent on harmony, agreement, or approval."
"True safety is not about smooth sailing; it's about trusting that you can tolerate disagreement and discomfort and that you won't disappear or abandon yourself when it happens. You can stay present and be with the bumpiness without crumbling, collapsing, or abandoning yourself. Ultimately, you can trust yourself to stay present and on your own side, regardless of whether your truth is liked, whether it makes the other person happy, or whether life feels easy"
Many women learn to depend on external control for safety when telling the truth, which fosters hyper-vigilance and anxiety. External safety is a first, necessary step but insufficient for deep embodied trust. Internal safety develops through practicing speaking truth aloud—truthing—and shifting safety from external responses to an inner capacity and practice. When fundamental well-being no longer depends on agreement or approval, trust in oneself becomes solid. Safety must be redefined to expect and withstand conflict rather than avoid it. True safety means tolerating disagreement and discomfort, staying present, and not abandoning oneself regardless of others' reactions.
Read at Psychology Today
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