"All I Want for Christmas Is You," Edited by Someone in Couples Therapy

"I don't want a lot for Christmas, but I do have some valid and reasonable expectationsthat Ishould feel safe to express.There is just one thing are several things I need: I don't actually do care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree.I just don't want you for to gift wrap them on my own.There are more than you could ever know.Make my wish come true-All I want for Christmas is for you to pass me the Scotch Tape at that critical moment whenI'm holding the gift wrap in place. In other words, to feel like a team.Yeah."

"I don't want a lot for Christmas,But there is just one other thing I need.And I don't do care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree.But I don't need to hang my stocking there upon the fireplace.Santa Claus won't make me happy with a toy on Christmas Day, because, for all intents and purposes, I am Santa.I just want you for my own to share the mental load,More than you could ever know.Make Cut my wish come true list in two.All I want for Christmas is for you to at least buy the gifts for your side of the family.You, baby."

"Oh, I won't ask for much this Christmas, mainly because "asking" suggests that you're doing me a favor, when, in actuality, I'm setting some healthy boundaries. From now on, it's also your responsibility to:I won't even wish for Shovel the snow (and Ice),I'm just gonna keep on waiting underneath String up the mistletoe,I won't Help the kids make a list and send it to the North Pole for Saint Nick (me).I won't Do you even stay awake to know how many batteries are required to hear make those magic reindeer click?"

The narrator prioritizes shared presence and practical help over material gifts during the holidays. Concrete requests include passing tape while wrapping, buying gifts for one another's families, writing gift labels, arranging table settings, putting out cookies and milk, stringing mistletoe, shoveling snow, helping children with lists, and managing batteries and parental interactions. The narrator frames these requests as healthy boundaries and a redistribution of the mental load. The tone combines humor, frustration, and intimacy while emphasizing teamwork, partnership, and relief from unilateral holiday labor.

Read at The New Yorker