"The holidays tend to be a time of year when the word "budget" strikes extra guilt and shame into the hearts of parents. Either we stick to the budget and feel bad not getting "enough" for our kids, or we blow it and then feel icky about it and shamefully pinch our pennies all January long. Especially for parents of tweens, teens, and young adults - whose wish lists aren't all Magna-Tiles and Play-Doh but expensive headphones and Sephora skincare - gifting adds up fast."
""Lots of people may have tried to tell you what it was like to have a child. Until you have a child, you don't know what it's like to have a child. The same thing happens with money. Until somebody has to handle money, they don't understand. So, it's not what you say to them. It's what you get them to do.""
"There's nothing better than seeing their eyes light up when they open a gift they've been pining for. And honestly, the older our kids get, the harder it is to not keep up. Kids can be mean, and you never want yours to get picked on because their new cup isn't a Stanley or they didn't get the new Xbox like everyone else at school."
Holidays amplify parental guilt and shame around budgets because parents either stick to limits and feel they did not give enough, or overspend and regret it financially. Gifts for tweens, teens, and young adults often cost more, increasing pressure to match peers and avoid children's social pain. Parental desire to prevent teasing or exclusion intensifies temptation to overspend, but guilt does not change affordability. Children do not innately understand money; understanding develops through handling funds. Practical steps include giving allowances or earned money, involving children in spending decisions, and introducing small sums early so they learn to spend or save.
Read at Scary Mommy
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