"My husband "Jake" grew up with three brothers. Their dad always took a week to bring them on a guys-only fishing trip together each year, something they all still do together. Jake and I have a 7-year-old son, "Finn," and a 5-year-old daughter, "Miley." Jake and his dad and brothers began including Finn in their trips when he was Miley's age, and now that she is old enough to understand, Miley is upset about being excluded."
"If she's not allowed to go, this is a source of hurt feelings that will repeat every year as she watches her brothers go on a trip she's not welcome on. And if you're a parent who can choose either Option A) excluding one of your kids and hurting her feelings, or Option B) changing (not ending) your "tradition" ... idk, it seems like a no-brainer to me."
Husband Jake grew up taking an annual guys-only fishing trip with his father and brothers; he later began bringing his son but not his daughter. The daughter, now old enough to understand, feels excluded and hurt. The mother insists that future trips include both children or that neither child attend. The father calls this change an attack on family tradition. Excluding one child from a recurring activity risks repeated hurt each year as the excluded child watches siblings participate. Offering equivalent special time to all children or modifying traditions can prevent ongoing resentment.
Read at Slate Magazine
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