"There's an analogy I've heard many times that may be helpful here: If there are a few poison M&Ms in a bag of 30, should you feel safe eating it? What's three out of 30, right? Is it likely that James or someone else will do something inappropriate? No, but is it impossible? Also no."
"There are many kids who never attend sleepovers for that reason; I can count on one hand the number I was allowed to attend outside of ones with close family friends, none of them were in homes with older boys, and all of them were accompanied by a warning about what to do if someone tried to violate me."
A father seeks advice on convincing his wife to allow their 8-year-old daughter to attend a slumber party at a friend's house where an older teenage brother lives. The mother refuses due to concerns about potential sexual abuse, stemming from her own childhood trauma of being sexually abused by a cousin. The father believes the concern is unreasonable, noting the family is known and the teenager has shown no concerning behavior. The advice columnist emphasizes the statistical reality of child sexual abuse, validates the mother's trauma-informed caution, and suggests the father approach the situation with greater sensitivity to his wife's experience rather than dismissing her protective instincts.
#parenting-advice #child-safety #trauma-informed-parenting #childhood-development #marital-communication
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