"Our anonymous parent confesses: "I feel like I will lose my mind when I have to repeat a request to my kids more than twice, even though I know it's developmentally appropriate behavior for them to not listen.""
"Be as specific as possible. So, "Put the plates in the dishwasher" rather than just "clean up." One idea at a time. "Put your shoes on" rather than "Get your shoes and coat on, and check that you have your homework, and don't forget you have your piano lesson after school...." Tell them what you DO want them to do, rather than what you DON'T want."
""Sweetie, please put your shoes on, it's almost time for us to leave!" "Time to go, put your shoes on now please." "Put your shoes on now." "For the fourth time, I SAID PUT YOUR SHOES ON, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST DO IT NOW!! DOOOOOO IIIIIIIIIIT!!! PUT! YOUR! SHOES! ON! YOUR! FEET!" Ahem. If you feel like your head is going to explode when you have to repeat yourself with your kids, this week's Parenting Confession is for you."
Parents frequently feel intense frustration when they must repeat requests to children, even though not listening can be developmentally appropriate. Attention to how directions are given can make requests easier to follow. Use specific language, focus on one task at a time, and tell children what to do rather than what not to do. Provide praise when children comply on the first request to reinforce desired behavior. Change requires time and consistency, but consistent, clear directions and positive reinforcement help children learn to listen and respond more reliably.
Read at TODAY.com
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