Those Precious Preschool Friendships

"Routinely sitting next to or near each other at school tips toward growth as well. Parents may or may not have a role in shaping such opportunities. Play is the major driver of friendships in the preschool years. Children who choose the same or similar play settings, routines, or activities will get a lot of practice being together, waiting their turn, sharing, winning and losing-all things that teach essential social lessons. Sam's father called his son's clutch of friends the "Magna-Tile mafia.""

"Sam's parents ended their summer at a neighborhood barbecue attended by several of Sam's friends' parents. Conversation eventually settled on whose child was looking forward to seeing whom after the summer break. There was some, but not unanimous, consensus that the boys were looking forward to seeing the boys and the girls, the girls. On the walk home, Sam's mom pensively asked her husband if he thought their son "made good friendships." It's a good question, asked by countless parents about their offspring."

"Sam's father called his son's clutch of friends the "Magna-Tile mafia." The power of gender. Sam's mom: "No matter how hard we try, we can't get Sam to play with the delightful little girl next door. We love her family." Same-gender play is a trusted orbit for the growth of preschool friendships, no matter a parent's wishes. This is temporary, as we all know."

Preschool friendships grow when children share regular physical space and predictable play activities. Proximity through neighborhood ties, carpools, bus routes, seating patterns, and routine afterschool arrangements increases opportunities for repeated interaction. Play settings and similar activities provide practice in turn-taking, sharing, winning, and losing, which build social competence. Early friendships often cluster by gender because same-gender play feels comfortable and trustworthy during initial bonding. When parental adults resolve conflicts for children, immediate play may resume but children miss learning opportunities to negotiate and solve problems independently. These patterns are common and typically change as children mature and expand social circles.

Read at Psychology Today