3 Reasons You Feel Guilty for Wanting More

"Humans are wired for growth. Self-determination theory shows that well-being depends on three core needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Interestingly, meeting external markers of success does not guarantee these needs are met internally. You can have stability without autonomy, comfort without meaning, or connection without authenticity."

"Psychology suggests this guilt is not a sign of ingratitude or entitlement. It is the product of how self-worth, social comparison, and early learning shape our relationship to desire. Research shows that wanting more and feeling guilty about it often come from the same psychological roots."

"The problem is that many people interpret this signal through a moral lens rather than a psychological one. Instead of seeing desire as information, they see it as evidence that something is wrong with them."

Many people experience restlessness and desire for growth despite having objectively good lives, yet feel guilty about these feelings. This guilt is not a sign of ingratitude but results from how self-worth, social comparison, and early learning shape our relationship to desire. Self-determination theory reveals that well-being depends on three core needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness. External markers of success do not guarantee these internal needs are met. When these needs are undernourished, the brain generates dissatisfaction as a signal to recalibrate, manifesting as restlessness or longing. Many people misinterpret this psychological signal through a moral lens, viewing desire as evidence of personal failure rather than as valuable information requiring attention.

Read at Psychology Today