People who are extremely good at reading a room often have no idea how to simply be in one. The scanning never stops. The social radar that everyone admires is the same system that prevents them from ever fully arriving anywhere, because arriving would require turning it off. - Silicon Canals

"The social perception that everyone admires as emotional intelligence is, in many cases, a surveillance system that replaces presence with monitoring. It doesn't enhance connection. It prevents it."

"The room-reader's gift isn't a gift at all. It's a compulsion dressed in social utility, and the person it costs the most is the one performing it."

"Attunement, when it never turns off, becomes occupation. Your nervous system is occupied territory, and the occupying force is everyone else's emotional state."

"Most writing about emotional intelligence treats it as though it were a skill someone decided to learn. Research suggests that emotional intelligence is a flexible set of skills that can be acquired and improved with practice."

Emotional intelligence is often perceived as a superpower, but it can become a compulsion that replaces presence with constant monitoring of others' emotions. The ability to read a room may seem beneficial, yet it can prevent true connection. While emotional intelligence is framed as a skill that can be learned, those who excel at it often do not acquire it through practice. Instead, their heightened sensitivity to others' emotional states can lead to an occupied nervous system, detracting from their own emotional well-being.

Read at Silicon Canals