The quiet power of people who stopped explaining themselves - Silicon Canals

"Most of us are trained to explain. School teaches it. Performance reviews demand it. Social media rewards it. The logic goes: if people understand your reasoning, they'll approve of your choices. Approval means safety. Psychologists call this "accounts giving," a well-documented behavior where people provide justifications, excuses, or explanations after acting in ways that might be questioned."

"Here's what that actually means in practice: every unsolicited explanation is a small act of submission. You're handing someone the role of judge and asking them to find you reasonable. Most people don't notice they're doing it. But the people around them notice, instinctively, that something about the dynamic feels off."

"When someone stops explaining themselves, the social math changes. Suddenly, there's no gap between their action and their identity. They did the thing. The thing stands on its own. The absence of justification reads, almost universally, as conviction."

People are conditioned to over-explain their choices through school, performance reviews, and social media, driven by the belief that justification ensures approval and safety. This behavior, called "accounts giving," stems from impression management—the need to control how others perceive us. Every unsolicited explanation represents a subtle submission, positioning the listener as judge. However, some people stop explaining themselves entirely. This silence fundamentally alters social dynamics. When someone ceases justifying their actions, those actions gain independence and authority. The absence of explanation reads universally as conviction rather than defensiveness, shifting the power balance in relationships and interactions.

Read at Silicon Canals