"Healthy intimate relationships require that both partners see each other and love what they see. Sometimes, needy individuals see what they want to see in others, rather than seeing who they really are. This causes them to frequently experience and express disappointment with their partners. If your partner is chronically disappointed with you, you are in an unhealthy relationship that is harmful to your mental health."
"Sometimes, intimate relationships are formed based on the neediness or desperation of one or both partners. When this happens, it is frequent that one or both partners are not really in love with the other person. Rather, they are in love with their own fantasy of who they might love and then attempt to morph the other into somebody else: their ideal mate."
Some people form intimate partnerships based on neediness or desperation and maintain attachment to an imagined ideal rather than to the real partner. Such mismatched attachment often leads to efforts to change the partner into a fantasy version, causing chronic disappointment. Unhealthy relationships commonly display patterns such as constant criticism and failure to acknowledge strengths and efforts. Persistent disappointment from a partner undermines emotional well-being and can produce depression and unhappiness. The healthiest relationships emerge when both partners see each other fully, appreciate real qualities, and form attachment to the whole person rather than to idealized expectations.
Read at Psychology Today
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