Asking for a friend: My husband won't forgive me for slapping him in front of my friends. It was only a tap. Why won't he show a little compassion?

"Q: My husband isn't forgiving me for slapping him in front of my woman friends. I know that sounds bad at first glance, and it is, and I've been as contrite towards him as I possibly can. He's made of much sterner stuff and has had to take as bad, if not worse in some ways, from me at times, but he's milking the 'if the boot was on the other foot' card, which I know he is entitled to do"

"I'm on my knees, and he could surely show at least a little compassion. It was only a tap, and he was riling me about a family matter. I really don't know what I can do next. Dr West replies: Sorry - you assaulted your husband and you are complaining he isn't being compassionate about it? It doesn't 'sound bad at first glance' - it is bad. It is physical abuse, regardless of the gender of the perpetrator. Everyone deserves to be safe and respected in their relationships."

A woman reports slapping her husband in front of her friends, expresses remorse, and asks how to regain his forgiveness after two and a half weeks. She minimizes the act as a tap provoked by a family-related provocation and expects compassion. The husband remains unforgiving and references role reversal. A professional responds that the action was assault and physical abuse, irrespective of the perpetrator's gender, and challenges the expectation that the assaulted partner should show immediate compassion. The responder asserts that everyone deserves safety and respect in relationships.

Read at Independent