"My son has trouble telling the truth. He was getting up late, dressing for work, leaving and coming back early. When my husband and I asked him about having a job, he said he had one. When we asked him to show us his paycheck, he fumbled around on his phone, then he confessed that he had no job. He said he has been at the library looking for work."
"Assuming that your son isn't penniless, where has he been getting money? If it is from you and your husband, it's time to stop. That may give him an incentive to look harder for employment. While you are at it, give him a date after which he must have found other lodging, and stick to it. A counselor may be able to help your son with his problem telling the truth, but it is long past time that you stopped living with it."
"There is nothing wrong with being alone. In fact, it can be healthy. You need to break a destructive pattern that you may have established. It is important that you get over the impulse to rescue women who have been unlucky in love and whose self-esteem is weak. Concentrate instead on finding someone who feels good about herself without your help, and you may have better luck."
A son in his 40s repeatedly lies about having a job while spending time at the library looking for work. Parents are advised to stop enabling him financially, set a firm move-out deadline, and pursue counseling to address compulsive dishonesty. A man who habitually tries to rescue emotionally vulnerable women ends up friend-zoned and emotionally exhausted; he is advised to embrace being alone, break the rescue pattern, and seek partners with healthy self-esteem. A 29-year-old on the autism spectrum lives with parents and works full-time while helping them financially. Counseling may help, but practical boundaries are emphasized.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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