Dear Abby: I found out by accident about my son's posthumous child

"My son died of cancer at 33. It was heartbreaking. My daughter-in-law, Belinda, had grown distant before his death, and although they had a son through artificial insemination, I have almost never seen him. I helped with the weeding in my son's yard, but any time I came, Belinda always had the baby at the park or someplace else. Now that my son is gone, she won't answer any phone calls or texts."

"I say grandchildren because she used his sperm to have another child. We found out by accident that a baby girl was born. We were never notified. While I doubt this plays a big part in this, Belinda is bipolar. As it stands, I no longer make an effort to have a relationship with my grandchildren. They are so young, and I anticipate difficulty in pursuing grandparents' rights because of their ages and their mother's attitude toward us."

A mother lost her 33-year-old son to cancer and is estranged from his partner, Belinda, who became distant before his death. The couple had a son via artificial insemination, whom the grandmother has rarely seen. The grandmother learned by accident that Belinda had another child using the deceased son's sperm and was not notified. Belinda reportedly has bipolar disorder and now refuses phone calls and texts. The grandmother has stopped trying to build relationships with the grandchildren and feels helpless. Advice offered includes consulting an attorney about state grandparents' rights and seeking a licensed family therapist to process grief and acceptance.

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