"My mom is in her early 80s. More and more often lately, she seems to be avoiding seeing me and my siblings. It wasn't always like this. She would let me, my husband and our kids stay with her when we visited. Even last year, when she fell and injured herself, she let me stay with her for a couple of days to help out."
"It may not be the norm for your family, but it's time all of you visited Mom together and told her that her change in behavior has you worried because it is out of character. Tell her your siblings fear she is avoiding them because she is over them. Tell her you love her and are concerned because any extreme change in behavior in an older person can be a symptom of illness."
An elderly mother in her early 80s has begun avoiding visits and shortening phone calls with her children after a history of close contact and recent help during a fall. Siblings suspect she may be tired of their dependence, while one child worries the change is recent and concerning. The recommended response is for all children to visit together, express love and concern, and ask directly about the behavioral change. Family members should consider whether expectations are burdensome and encourage a medical evaluation, since abrupt or extreme changes in an older person's behavior can signal illness.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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