"Connect to Communicate Emotional attunement is more important to maintaining connection than the words we use. Emotional demeanor- body language, facial expressions, eye contact, and tone of voice-is the primary mode of communication in love. Effective communication is a function of connection-caring about each other's well-being. When partners feel connected, they communicate well. Communication techniques can help you feel heard but not connected."
"The Mirror of Love Love is a mirror of the inner self. What we learn about ourselves in love we can learn in no other way. We can't know ourselves completely without experiencing love. The mirror of love changes once we start living together. When falling in love, it shows how generous, open, flexible, passionate, funny, creative, thoughtful, and attentive we can be. After a year or so of living together, the mirror of love shows how petty, rigid, defensive, irritable, or man"
Connection in long-term relationships is a mental state and a deliberate choice. Partners can choose to feel connected or disconnected regardless of physical proximity. Emotional attunement — body language, facial expression, eye contact, and tone of voice — is more important for maintaining connection than precise words. Conditioned responses to pain, distress, and discomfort shape relational outcomes: blame, denial, and avoidance hide vulnerability and undermine bonds, while compassion, kindness, and sharing core emotions such as fear, shame, sadness, and sorrow reduce vulnerability and draw partners together. Genuine caring makes communication effective; techniques can create hearing without connection. Love reveals inner strengths and flaws over time.
Read at Psychology Today
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