"I liked sex with my husband when we were married, but not much else. I liked the way his skin smelled, I liked his level of body hair, which is honestly not a small thing. I liked that he knew what I liked before I did sometimes and that he never needed to ask if something felt good, although now I know I should have wondered about that part a little."
"He never asked me if I was happy or satisfied or comfortable, in life or in bed or during a quickie in the guest bath. He never asked because he didn't really care about me all that much. I thought I cared about him a whole lot, but now I know I just liked to have sex with him. And so I kept having sex with him for a long time after he became my ex-husband."
"I tried leaving three or four or 10 times before I finally did it, rocking the car of my life back and forth in the ditch that was our marriage before finally pulling free. I was 30 years old, a mom of four little kids. My hair still had that postpartum stringiness to it, my skin not quite mine again yet since my littlest one was just two."
She liked sex with her husband but not much else, enjoying his scent, body hair, and sexual intuition. He never asked whether she was happy, satisfied, or comfortable, revealing emotional indifference. She realized she had not loved him deeply but enjoyed sex with him and continued having sex after their separation. She attempted to leave multiple times before finally separating at age 30 while parenting four young children and coping with postpartum changes and financial insecurity. After separation, sexual encounters recurred during custody discussions and practical visits, driven by physical desire rather than mutual care.
#sexual-intimacy #emotional-neglect #separation-and-divorce #postpartum-motherhood #custody-arrangements
Read at Scary Mommy
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