"When I had my fourth child at 37, it was like my body completely shut down every time the word "sex" was mentioned. And I don't mean like during the fourth trimester or even while I was just breastfeeding or sleep-deprived or some other postpartum "excuse." It went like this for years. I blamed it on those postpartum hormones, on perimenopause, on my own anxiety. I started medication and blamed the lack of sex drive there, and then I started going to counseling."
"My husband and I had been together for 15 years at that point, and it really was a hard time for both of us. I didn't want to have sex, but I also didn't want to make my husband feel bad or let him down. But unlike other times, like when I was simply too tired or not in the mood, I could never rally for him."
"At a session with my therapist, I mentioned that I had looked up HSDD - hypoactive sexual desire disorder. I told her that both my husband and I thought maybe I had it, and asked her if I should reach out to a doctor for treatment. It was in that session that my therapist leaned forward and asked me to explain why I thought I wasn't interested in sex, and to not come up with some science behind it."
A mother of four experienced a complete shutdown of sexual desire after her fourth child at 37, persisting for years. She attributed the absence of desire to postpartum hormones, perimenopause, anxiety, medication, and later sought counseling. Her husband offered more foreplay, toys, and adjustments, but she remained emotionally and physically drained. During therapy, a direct question prompted an immediate realization: she was no longer in love with her husband. Scenes of resentment and accumulated household neglect surfaced, illustrating emotional distance that undermined desire despite attempts to find medical or situational explanations.
Read at Scary Mommy
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