Is Your Group Chat Talking About You?

""My friends told me that there was a subgroup text created without me by the people from a bigger group chat I was in," says Marleena, 35. "It was a big mom group chat, and they excluded me because they said I was annoying and sloppy." She was hurt, understandably. But it affected her in major ways. "As someone who has dealt with body dysmorphia, I became very self-conscious and hyper-aware of my appearance and also how I was texting. It even transferred to how I was Slacking at work.""

"Group chats - text threads that include three or more people, typically friends, family, or travel companions - sometimes spawn quiet offshoots: side conversations that intentionally leave someone out. In an era where a large chunk of friendship happens virtually, the exclusionary threads are the modern-day version of "you can't sit with us." It's social signaling that's less in your face and more passive-aggressive; a frenemy practice that hides behind screens. And it has real-world consequences."

"The savagery typically goes like this: Vibes shift in a group chat (either due to a natural drift or a specific offense), one person starts another text chain without the person they're irritated with, complaints and gossip ensue, and either the OG chat slowly dies or the group becomes strained with secret alliances. It's the digital version of smiling to someone's face and talking behind their back."

Group chats often spawn side conversations that intentionally exclude one or more members. Vibes can shift within a larger thread, prompting someone to start a splinter chat without the person who irritated them. Exclusionary threads act as modern, passive-aggressive social signaling that resembles saying 'you can't sit with us.' The practice can cause emotional harm, increasing self-consciousness and exacerbating issues such as body dysmorphia. Exclusions also affect behavior beyond social media, spilling into workplace communication. Secret side chats can dissolve original groups or create strained alliances among friends, producing real-world social consequences.

Read at Bustle