"You ask yourself, "Why do I feel jealous? What is it that isn't working?" As a couple therapist and expert in relationships, especially open relationships, I know that all feelings are normal expressions of need or longing. Jealousy is not a problem. It's the heart contracting, voicing your basic human needs; the desire to be chosen, to be cherished, to feel safe in love."
"Relationships are not about avoiding pain or chasing only what feels good. They are not about eliminating discomfort, but about discovering how much love can grow in these difficult areas. As such, it is important not to meet jealousy with blame, guilt, or avoidance. We should meet it with self-trust and embodiment. If we treat jealousy with compassion, and presence, it softens and transforms. In this way, jealousy becomes a doorway into deeper levels of intimacy."
Jealousy commonly arises even in open relationships and signals underlying fear, insecurity, and unmet needs. Jealousy reflects the desire to be chosen, cherished, and safe in love. Rather than meeting jealousy with blame, guilt, or avoidance, responding with compassion, presence, self-trust, and embodiment softens and transforms the experience. Exploring jealous feelings uncovers core needs and values, offering opportunities for healing and growth. Vulnerable communication about jealousy fosters reassurance, trust, and deeper intimacy. Relationships are about growing capacity to love through discomfort, not simply avoiding pain or seeking only pleasurable feelings.
Read at Psychology Today
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]