"Nobody tells you this can happen. They warn you about teenage rebellion, about empty nest syndrome, about your kids moving across the country. But nobody warns you that your kids can live in the same town and still feel a thousand miles away. The worst part? I did this. Not on purpose, not all at once, but slowly, over years of being the kind of father I thought I was supposed to be."
"Last time I saw my older son, we sat across from each other at a diner and talked about the weather. The weather. This is a kid who used to tell me everything, who'd come find me in the garage when something was bothering him. Now we discuss humidity levels and whether we need rain. He asks how I'm doing, I say fine. I ask about work, he says it's good."
"They're good sons. Responsible, caring, dutiful. They check in, they show up when they have to, they never forget Father's Day. But somewhere along the way, we stopped being family and started being an obligation."
A father reflects on the painful realization that his two adult sons, who live only twenty minutes away, have become emotional strangers to him. Despite regular contact through obligatory visits, calls, and texts, their interactions feel superficial and distant. He recognizes that this disconnection resulted from his own parenting style, inherited from his father, which emphasized practical problem-solving and stoicism over emotional openness and genuine conversation. Rather than listening and connecting, he provided solutions to his sons' problems. Over decades, this approach created a wall of politeness that replaced authentic family relationships, leaving him with dutiful but emotionally distant sons who fulfill obligations without real intimacy.
#family-relationships #parenting-regrets #emotional-distance #father-son-dynamics #personal-reflection
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