"Expecting your co-workers to stick to business is entirely reasonable, and Miss Manners would understand if you found questions about your personal life to be intrusive. But questions about previous employment seem a reasonable way of getting to know the people with whom you will be spending a great deal of time. Remember that how much information you divulge when answering such questions is up to you."
"Strangers want to make small talk with me while waiting in grocery checkout lines, at bus stops, at the bank, during flights, etc. I do not want to make friends with strangers every time I step outside my house. When this happens, I can't bring myself to tell these people, I'm sorry, but I don't really want to talk, because it is considered rude."
"I attempt to drop gentle hints that I want to be left alone, through body language and short answers to their questions, but most of these people seem to be immune to hints. So, I am forced to think up innovative ways to avoid talking while being careful not to hurt their feelings. For instance, in order to avoid a chatty lady who wants to become my friend at my regular bus stop, I go to another stop that is slightly out of my way."
Questions about previous employment are a reasonable way for coworkers to get to know each other. Individuals control how much information they divulge and may reasonably expect coworkers to stick to business. Strangers commonly initiate small talk in public settings such as checkout lines, bus stops, banks, and flights. Some people prefer not to converse and use body language, short answers, or avoidance maneuvers to discourage chats. These tactics can include changing bus stops or avoiding eye contact during long flights. A social tension exists between well-meaning attempts at friendly engagement and the challenge of asserting a desire to be left alone politely.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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