"Not causing a scene at the funeral is a good etiquette rule to follow. If this person approaches you, you may say, Excuse me, and walk away, purposefully, but without any show of anger as if you were called off to deal with something urgent. You can go to the bathroom for a minute if need be. Miss Manners is indifferent so long as it convinces anyone watching that your departure was unrelated to the person."
"DEAR MISS MANNERS: At a restaurant, if my food is served by someone other than my waiter and I need to request an additional or missing item (e.g., extra sauce or sour cream), do I make that request to the person who served the food? Or do I wait for the waiter to come over and ask if everything is OK? Does it even matter? Sometimes the waiter doesn't come over for a few minutes and I'd prefer not to let my food get cold."
Funeral etiquette prioritizes avoiding a public scene. If an unwelcome person approaches, say "Excuse me" and walk away purposefully but without anger, appearing called off to handle something urgent. Temporarily leaving to the bathroom is acceptable so the departure appears unrelated to the person. There will be other appropriate times to confront or address grievances. In restaurant situations where food is delivered by someone other than the waiter, patrons face the choice of requesting missing or additional items from the server or waiting for the waiter; delays can risk food getting cold, and answers often prompt varied professional explanations.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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