In this Pay Dirt column, a woman shares her frustration with her longtime friend Carly, who has declared she no longer gives gifts for birthdays. Although their group has a tradition of celebrating with gifts, Carly's recent stance displeases the author, who believes that the gesture of gift-giving, even a simple card, reflects thoughtfulness and care. When confronted with Carly's new rule, tensions arise, prompting the author to question if she is in the wrong for suggesting Carly pay for the birthday dinner to offset the lack of gifts.
"After a pause, I said: 'OK. Then you can buy the birthday girl's dinner, since we brought gifts.' Carly glared at me!"
"Carly would show up to our birthday gatherings with a shrug. 'I didn't bring a gift,' she'd say with a look meaning, 'Don't ask.'"
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