"To have a good relationship, you have to put in effort. Your effort should go towards communicating well, for example, learning to bring up concerns in a considerate way and working on listening rather than getting defensive. You should also have the necessary, but uncomfortable, conversations that help a relationship thrive, such as conflict repair discussions and talks that help you work as a team to meet each other's needs."
"This kind of labor of love is sure to improve your relationship and be part of a positive cycle in which you each give to each other, feel appreciated, and thus want to give more. When you put this type of effort towards your relationship, you make deposits into an emotional bank account that you can ultimately reap the benefits from together. It's a part of the labor of building something beautiful and stable."
Relationships require intentional effort that builds safety, trust, and connection rather than obligation. Effort should focus on clear communication, considerate problem-raising, active listening, and necessary but uncomfortable conversations like conflict repair and team planning to meet mutual needs. Prioritizing a partner’s needs equally and showing up in big and small ways—supporting through grief or being present when inconvenient—strengthens the bond. Effort motivated by fear, obligation, or guilt (FOG) breeds resentment instead of closeness. Genuine attraction involves wanting to be present and to give, and reciprocal effort creates emotional deposits that build a stable, appreciated partnership.
Read at Psychology Today
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]