"Among the most impactful pearls of wisdom and insight I have learned from author and therapist Esther Perel is distinguishing between a love story and a life story with respect to romantic relationships. I think it captures something that is conspicuously missing from depictions of love and romance in our culture. Movies are there to present us with beautiful love stories where everything hinges on the couple conquering obstacles to be together."
"You can fall in love with someone that you can't build a life with. Have you ever fallen breathlessly in love with someone only to find out you were completely incompatible in the light of day? The things that captivate our brains and our bodies-the truly urgent attractions we feel to certain people-are sometimes the first indicators that we could really connect with them."
Romantic intensity and cinematic love stories emphasize passion and obstacle-conquering but omit the everyday management of shared life. Long-term relationship success depends on compatibility, aligned values, and the ability to navigate daily routines and chores without constant conflict. Small micro-moments, ordinary rituals, and consistent mutual habits sustain connection more than occasional grand gestures. Maintaining romance remains important, yet practical coexistence and similar visions for the future determine whether two people can build and carry a stable life together.
Read at Psychology Today
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