"They're wildly in love, but they've sought premarital therapy because they're fighting over wedding plans. Dennis arrives for the session in cotton khakis, metal clips around his pant ankles, his bike parked outside. Dora has long black hair, pretty eyelash extensions, and expensive jeans carefully torn at the knees. She met Dennis after he gave a public lecture about the impact of deforestation on tree frogs. His passion for saving the planet impresses her, and he loves her vivacious and sweet ways."
"While with me, they argue about the wedding. Dennis lobbies for a rustic outdoor setting, guests dressed casually, eating vegetarian burgers. Dora wants a ballroom, with white linens, twinkling lights, and poached salmon. Squabbling over venues and food choices camouflages something deeper: their identities. The subtext is, "Are you really somebody who wants burgers? Because in my family, we would never consider that!""
Couples caught up in wedding planning often overlook upcoming marital challenges and focus on surface details that mask identity differences. Wedding arguments reveal deeper questions about values, habits, and belonging. During The Reckoning stage, the initial bliss fades and partners experience disappointment, anger, and unmet expectations. Marital therapy reframes disappointment as normal and provides a space for partners to share vulnerabilities, fears, and disappointments. Rebuilding connection requires openness, mutual acceptance, and friendship. Long-term love is grounded in a friendship where each partner feels seen, accepted, and supported to be their authentic self.
Read at Psychology Today
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