"Upset more than angry, I got out, filled up and went to pay, only to find him waiting by the car when I returned. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, I'm sorry mate. I didn't know you had your kids in the car. I apologise for that. There was something about the last four words which made the difference, somehow adding just the right amount of emphasis."
"I wasn't particularly pleased to have such a memory stirred this week when I read about a research paper, published by the British Psychological Society, on how the length of the words you use when you make an apology are important in conveying your sincerity. Apologies always fascinate me because, as far as I can see, without contrition on one side and forgiveness on the other, we're all doomed."
A man at a service station made a vile remark to a driver whose two young children sat in the back. The man later waited by the car, put his hand on the driver's shoulder and said, I'm sorry mate. I didn't know you had your kids in the car. I apologise for that. The specific phrasing and length of the final words increased perceived sincerity. A British Psychological Society paper linked word-length in written apologies to conveyed sincerity. Contrition and forgiveness are presented as necessary to prevent social decay, compared to leaves failing to decay. Unaccepted apologies provoke strong disappointment in those who offer them.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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