""No way," She looked at me with angry eyes. We had talked about her anger toward her mother several times. She had no solutions. When I suggested the idea of forgiveness, without demanding it or putting any pressure on her at all to forgive, she did not even want to hear the word "forgiveness." This is not an isolated case. Many people hold out the idea of forgiving until the other person uses those three little words: I am sorry."
"When a person apologizes, there is an admission of wrongdoing. This can open the door to a change in the other, to recompense for what was taken away, if anything was, and to increase hope that the relationship may improve. Thus, an apology is good in the moral sense because it opens the door for fairness to enter. Therefore, those who want an apology are doing something moral because they are hoping for a positive change"
Many people withhold forgiveness until an apology is offered, leaving them stuck when the apology never arrives. An apology admits wrongdoing and can prompt change, restitution, and renewed hope for the relationship. Apologies open the possibility of fairness and moral repair. When apologies are absent, those wronged may feel justice is thwarted and may harden emotionally. A tension often exists between seeking justice and extending mercy, since mercy does not demand fairness and can feel weak. Care is required to avoid confusing authentic forgiveness with merely pursuing justice or retribution.
Read at Psychology Today
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