Why Some People Just Don't Want to Be Touched

"Touch is one of the most important ways people communicate nonverbally. If you know someone who's a "touchy-feely person," you've probably had the experience of pulling away once in a while when you feel your personal space has been invaded. However, there are many times when a touch is comforting, especially if you're going through a difficult life situation. The Nature of Touch Aversion For some individuals, even an occasional expression of sympathy and support through physical contact can be intolerable."

"According to a new study by Binghamton University's Emily Ives and colleagues (2025), "touch is not necessarily experienced positively or used in good faith by some individuals." Touch aversion is the condition in which people experience touch negatively. But the non "good faith" version of touch, or touch coercion, occurs when people use touch to hurt, manipulate, or control another person, potentially their own romantic partner."

"Both forms of this deviation from the ordinary ways that touch is used to express positive emotions can relate, the Binghamton U. authors believe, to attachment style and personality. People with an avoidant attachment style would most likely fall into the "touch averse" category. Those who engage in coercive touch, though, would theoretically be high in attachment anxiety, expressing that anxiety in attempts to manipulate through physical contact."

Touch functions as a primary channel of nonverbal communication and can provide comfort or invade personal boundaries. Some people experience touch aversion, reacting negatively even to sympathetic contact. Other people use touch coercively to hurt, manipulate, or control intimate partners. Attachment style shapes these patterns: avoidant attachment associates with touch aversion, while anxious attachment can drive coercive physical behaviors aimed at managing insecurity. Dark triad traits—psychopathy, narcissism, and Machiavellianism—can amplify the likelihood of using touch coercively. Recognizing individual differences in touch sensitivity can help ensure touch serves as comfort rather than a mechanism of coercion.

Read at Psychology Today