What Taylor Swift's Engagement Can Tell Us About the State of Marriage in America

"And there were, like clockwork, the reactionary conservatives, who seem to have a collective parasocial relationship with Swift-they once held her up as the ideal woman (being white with blond hair and blue eyes was pretty much all it took) and now they dissolve into near-homicidal histrionics when she does something they don't like (which is most things, but mostly being single, successful, dating, and happy)."

"And so it was perhaps not surprising that the immediate right-wing response to the Swift-Kelce engagement ranged from deranged lecturing that women should follow Swift's example, get married, and have babies, to deranged fantasizing that women will en masse follow Swift's example, get married, and have babies, to deranged faux concern about the quality of her eggs once she is married and tries to have babies."

"These conservatives are right that the Swift-Kelce engagement does tell us something about the state of marriage in America. What they're missing, though, is that all the lectures, hopes, and concerns shouldn't focus on women like Swift-they should focus on men, who could radically increase marriage rates if they acted more like Kelce. Kelce, though, isn't much of a concern on the right, where the default assumption seems to be that marriage and parenting are things only women do."

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's engagement provoked intense, polarized public reactions including fan meltdowns, conspiracy theories, and reactionary conservative outrage. Many conservatives pivot from idealizing Swift's appearance to castigating her choices and urging women to marry and reproduce. The conservative focus centers on women's behavior, fertility, and conformity to traditional roles. Shifting the focus to men would yield more impact on marriage rates, because male behavior and commitment patterns strongly influence marriage formation. Travis Kelce exemplifies traits that could encourage stable unions. Increased male responsibility, cultural expectations, and supportive policies could substantially raise marriage and family formation.

Read at Slate Magazine