"The fog is not confusion. It is vigilance, a form of hyperawareness. The endless, involuntary calculation of danger, exposure, contingency. Which street, which restaurant. Which search term, which like, which comment."
"I walk free now, only after an army of lawyers sued the administration for targeting me because of my pro-Palestine speech. But the government is relentless in targeting me, still using every road and alleyway it can find to punish me with the legal system and bureaucracy."
"At home, I catch myself mid-sentence, mid-bite, mid-laugh, gone somewhere else. My wife, Noor, will say something and I'll nod. I am on the sofa but not in the room: always thinking, planning, reading, writing, scrolling, while time ticks away."
"How can I explain to Noor that I take her out less now because when we are together, people recognize us more?"
A person experiences ongoing vigilance and hyperawareness following an unlawful detention by the Trump administration. The individual reflects on the constant calculations of danger in daily life, including how to navigate public spaces and interactions. Despite being free, the fear of further targeting by the government persists, affecting personal relationships and daily activities. The struggle to balance being a good father and husband while managing the anxiety of recognition and potential repercussions is a central theme in their life.
Read at Intelligencer
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