Please Don't Compliment Me on My Weight Loss

"In my work as a therapist specializing in eating disorders and body image, I hear a version of the same story again and again. The time in someone's life when they received the most praise for their appearance was also the time they were the most unwell. They were restricting food. They were purging. They were exercising compulsively or barely eating enough to function. And people kept telling them how great they looked."

"Bodies change for many reasons. Weight loss can occur because of illness, grief, depression, medication changes, chronic stress, financial strain, or an eating disorder. None of those situations is something most people would want to be congratulated for. Even when weight loss is intentional, it doesn't necessarily mean someone is healthier or happier."

"Health is far more complex than a number on a scale. Yet culturally, we are taught to read bodies as if they tell a simple story: smaller means better. But bodies are far more complex than that."

Weight loss is not a reliable indicator of health, well-being, or personal worth. Complimenting someone's weight loss can reinforce harmful cultural beliefs about which bodies deserve approval and validation. For people recovering from eating disorders, body-focused comments can reactivate disordered thoughts and behaviors. Weight loss occurs for many reasons including illness, grief, depression, medication changes, stress, and financial strain—situations that warrant no celebration. Health is complex and extends far beyond a number on a scale. Human bodies naturally exist across diverse shapes and sizes as part of normal biology. Showing genuine care requires complimenting the person rather than their body.

Read at Psychology Today