"Will you be my bridesmaid? was once a simple request requiring maybe one night of doing shots with the bride and one day of sporting a pouffy dress with a modest neckline. But being a bridesmaid, for many young women, has metastasized into an 18-month affair featuring four-day retreats in destination accommodations, $800 gowns, an unpaid part-time job monitoring group chats and Venmo requests, and multiple showers (gifts technically optional, but socially mandatory)."
""I tried to say I couldn't afford to go because of my student loans," a traumatized-looking woman said about the bachelorette trip. "The maid of honor texted back 'no worries!!!!!' with a sparkle emoji. I knew what that meant. I sold my car to make it happen.""
"I have been a bridesmaid every year for the past seven years. I have a savings account titled "[name]'s bachelorette & wedding." It has never been closed-only replenished each time I edit the name from "Amy" to "Madison" to "Mary." Other people's weddings are a $2,500 line item in my annual budget, which brings my total spent on bridal-party duties to nearly $20,000."
Bridesmaid responsibilities have expanded far beyond a brief favor into lengthy, expensive obligations. Many bridesmaid roles now span up to 18 months and include destination retreats, pricey gowns, multiple showers, and unpaid coordination work such as managing group chats and covering shared expenses. These expectations create substantial financial strain for attendants, sometimes forcing extreme sacrifices like selling personal assets. Annual personal budgets often allocate thousands for others' weddings, and aggregate spending on bridal-party duties can approach or exceed significant life expenses. Social pressure and implied expectations make opting out or limiting participation difficult for many women.
Read at The Atlantic
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