#boundary-setting
#boundary-setting

2 days ago

Asking Eric: If I suggest a hotel, they'll be offended, but I can't deal with them in my home

After decades of hosting, Thanksgiving responsibilities can overwhelm one person; ask relatives to share hosting duties, shorten visits, or take on specific tasks.

Mental health

How to Overcome 7 Common Barriers to Setting Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries prevents burnout and requires overcoming emotional barriers like conflict avoidance and people-pleasing; asking for help is a sign of strength.

Help! My Sister-in-Law Always Spoils My Holiday Plan the Same Way. This Year Is Going to Be Different.

I realize Christmas is still a ways off, but every year I go all out to find my niece the hottest must-have toy, only for her mother (my sister-in-law) to accuse me of trying to buy her affection. My brother and his wife have fewer resources than I have, so I don't mind shelling out to make my niece's Christmas as magical as possible. How can I convince my SIL that I'm not trying to upstage her?

Relationships

Harriette Cole: My neighbor's bossiness about parking has gotten out of hand

An overzealous neighbor enforces parking norms while job losses and denigration arise from backlash against DEI, highlighting conflicts over control, misunderstanding, and boundary-setting.

Dear Abby: I picked my baby's name, and now I'm told a hypothetical child has dibs

Parents should choose their child's name based on their own wishes and not yield to relatives' demands or entitlement.

I Took in My Four Grandkids After a Tragic Accident. I Wasn't Prepared for What Life Would Be Like a Decade Later.

Require household teenagers to contribute chores in exchange for room, board, transportation, and allowances; set clear rules, a written chore chart, and enforce consequences.

#family-dynamics

Relationships

Harriette Cole: I threw myself into planning our parents' party, and this is what I got

Mental health

Family, Food, and Friction: A Holiday Reality Check

Relationships

Harriette Cole: I threw myself into planning our parents' party, and this is what I got

Mental health

Family, Food, and Friction: A Holiday Reality Check

more#family-dynamics

fromFast Company

When you should 'burn a bridge' in your career and 5 ways to do it

But that advice was followed during a different time and for workplaces that were designed to keep you in line, not further your career. In today's fast-moving workforce, clinging to outdated relationships, toxic workplaces, or unfair structures isn't loyalty. It's self-sabotaging. It's time to rethink what was once considered the norm. Sometimes burning a bridge isn't reckless. It's strategic. It's the first step toward building something better in your career.

Careers

fromwww.theguardian.com

My sister-in-law won't let anyone hold her new baby. It feels extreme. Is it? | Leading questions

New parents may limit others' contact with their infant for health, overstimulation, anxiety, medical, or preference reasons; respond with empathy and respect.

Harriette Cole: He's putting my photos online under his name

Confront unauthorized sharing and credit theft directly, set clear boundaries, and withhold new work until proper attribution is established.

Help! I've Always Been My Apartment Building's Honorary "Grandma." But the New Young Couple Has Just Been Added to My Blacklist.

A longtime tenant feels hurt after a new neighbor repeatedly faked phone calls to avoid conversation and now contemplates confronting her.

Mindfulness

Filling One's Cup: An Important Practice for Athletes

Use disciplined emotional regulation and daily mindfulness to "fill your cup," set boundaries, protect energy, and sustain focused optimal performance.

3 weeks ago

Asking Eric: The neighbor mom's requests of my college-age son strike me as weird

Ask the neighbor why she expects your son to do chores, clarify boundaries, and firmly refuse additional requests on your son's behalf.

Mindfulness

Boundaries and Compartmentalization for Existential Anxiety

Existential questioning is normal and can be managed by normalizing uncertainty, setting boundaries, compartmentalizing, and exercising agency to reduce anxiety.

My Mother-in-Law's Outrageous Restaurant Behavior Goes Against My Moral Code. Time Is Running Out for Me to Say Something.

A mother-in-law repeatedly disputing restaurant charges to obtain refunds models manipulative, dishonest behavior that worries the expectant parent and may require boundary-setting.

Asking Eric: The look-at-me pregnancy reveal was the latest rudeness from my niece

Our niece (my husband's brother's daughter) is expecting her first child. While we are very happy for her, the way she announced her news, and some of her past actions, have affected my feelings toward her as they had directly impacted me, my husband and our kids. This niece announced her pregnancy to us (via FaceTime, as she doesn't live locally) at a family birthday dinner that was held for the combined birthdays of her father and our son.

Relationships

Asking Eric: I've seen my boyfriend fondling all these women. He says I'm crazy.

A partner's habitual public flirting and physical intimacy with other women creates humiliation and distrust; consider separation, counseling, and external confirmation from trusted friends.

My Ex-Boyfriend Has a Deeply Weird Way of "Using" the Women He's Dated. I'm Afraid I'm Next.

Control personal behavior, set clear boundaries, stay polite but distant, and accept that others may form false narratives beyond one's control.

Public health

Help! I'm Breaking an Annual Family Tradition. My Reason Why Is Bound to Stir Up Drama.

Prioritize personal COVID safety by setting boundaries and choosing separate lodging when family mask commitments feel unreliable.

fromBusiness Insider

My son asked not to be contacted for a couple of days after his college move-in. The boundary helped us both adapt to our new normal.

Allowing a college-bound child two days of no contact can honor their independence and help parents begin adjusting to an empty nest.

Dear Abby: Can I drop this woman after years of her lackadaisical texts?

It is acceptable to stop responding to perfunctory contacts while providing consistent, compassionate support to family members in genuine hardship.

Mental health

How to Stop Using Boundary Setting as an Avoidance Tactic

Boundary setting protects physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing but can be misused to avoid addressing underlying problems.

#wedding-etiquette

Relationships

Dear Abby: She's excluded from the wedding reception. Do I have to warn her?

Relationships

Help! My In-Laws Insist on Inviting My Parents to the Wedding. They Don't Know What They're Asking.

Relationships

Dear Abby: She's excluded from the wedding reception. Do I have to warn her?

Relationships

Help! My In-Laws Insist on Inviting My Parents to the Wedding. They Don't Know What They're Asking.

more#wedding-etiquette

The 4 Top Irrational Beliefs Of Struggling Adult Children

Some adult children avoid reality through fantasy or fear, while parental guilt often enables unrealistic expectations and blocks healthy boundary-setting.

Asking Eric: I know it sounds petty, but I won't let my sick friend talk to me like this

My best friend of nearly 50 years has been diagnosed with cancer, and the prognosis isn't good. Naturally, I want to support her, but she's making it very challenging. I just spoke with her on the phone to check in, and she got angry with me over something incredibly simple. I had asked about her pain level during her treatment that day and expressed how sorry I was that she had to endure such pain.

Relationships

Asking Eric: My husband's family sings so badly that they've ruined music for me

The last few years I've just started telling him and everyone around us that I don't like music and don't care for it in the background. I'm not embarrassed, it just hurts my ears, literally. I realize it brings him/them joy, but how much joy do I tolerate at my extreme discomfort? I actually used to really like, even love, some music, but now I completely hate it. Hating music is now part of my personality, which I never intended.

Relationships

How to Deal With a High-Conflict Divorce

Document communications, set firm boundaries, and use neutral public settings to reduce conflict, protect children, and minimize stress and legal costs during high-conflict divorce.

Harriette Cole: Should I tell my husband why my friend won't visit us?

Unresolved spousal disrespect can push friends away and signals relationship problems that benefit from honest communication and professional couples counseling.

Dear Abby: Is this woman stalking my fiance?

A fiancée suspects a friend is pursuing her fiancé, and a co-worker feels excluded from office birthday traditions; both situations require clear boundary-setting.

Productivity

fromFast Company

Sneaky time traps that cause you to work late

Small distractions and poor boundary management—excessive chats, long breaks, and personal tasks during work—extend the workday and harm work-life balance.

fromScary Mommy

Why So Many Women Struggle To Set Boundaries With Their Mother-In-Law

High-achieving women often struggle to set boundaries with mothers-in-law because desire for approval and generational differences in parenting and household dynamics create tension.

My In-Laws Always Offer Us a Specific Favor When They Visit. They've Never Once Let Us Take Them Up On It.

Grandparents prioritize concert travel over engaging with their grandchildren, repeatedly using the parents' home as free lodging and leaving during important family moments.

Help! I Met Up With My Gaming Community in Real Life. I'm Losing Sleep Over What I Did.

Acknowledge and protect your emotional boundaries in online friendships, communicate where necessary, and prioritize self-care when unreciprocated feelings make group interactions painful.

Productivity

Why Saying "No" Is Your Biggest Strategic Flex

Use personal values to filter requests; say no confidently, prioritize rest, and focus on fewer priorities to increase creativity, innovation, and meaningful impact.

4 months ago

Harriette Cole: How can I get my roommate to turn on the air conditioning?

Roommate dynamics can lead to resentment when shared responsibilities and expenses are uneven.

Loss of parents can bring out childhood dynamics among siblings, requiring emotional negotiation.

5 months ago

Dear Abby: She just wants to chitchat like she never burned down her house

Support for addicts is important, but boundaries are necessary for personal well-being.