There are dramatic proposals on airplanes happening just in the nick of time, and love that blossoms in the face of terminal illness, and seemingly impossible relationships thriving against all odds. But while I enjoy a good love story as much as the next mom, my work as a pediatric emergency medicine physician informs my perspective on the myriad ways romantic relationships have the potential to cause young people harm.
Love is supposed to feel safe, right? I remember sitting across from my therapist three years ago, trying to explain why I stayed in a relationship where I constantly walked on eggshells. "But they love me," I kept saying, as if that justified everything. That session changed how I understood love forever. After my four-year relationship ended in my mid-twenties, I dove deep into understanding attachment styles and relationship psychology. What I discovered was eye-opening: Genuine love has boundaries.
All these elements make for great entertainment, but it can be argued that the show has more than just good storytelling - it also offers lessons about what is (and isn't) healthy in our relationships. The Summer I Turned Pretty offers the viewers solid examples of what healthy relationships look like, and what behaviours we should be seeking from the people around us, as well as those to avoid.
Many women are choosing to stay single over settling. Choosing to stay single allows women to preserve their inner peace and autonomy. Singleness can create space for growth, friendships, and fulfillment outside of romantic partnership. Studies continue to confirm the trending rise in single women. And yet, even though this has become more of the norm, there are still deep feelings of shame around singlehood. Many conversations I've had with clients about dating and what it means to be single confirm this experience.
Co-regulation requires three skill sets: the ability to identify when your partner is emotionally dysregulated, the ability to tell your partner when you are dysregulated, and the ability to react to your partner in a way that is calming.
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