I'm a woman, and I have been with my husband for 18 years. He is 22 years older than me. When we met, I was still recovering from a nasty divorce where my ex repeatedly cheated on me. After much thought, I rejected monogamy. My (now) husband was fine with having an open relationship. For the first 10 years, we had fun as swingers.
But let me tell you a secret: Sexual problems are rarely about sex itself. They're about the silent scripts we carry: those insidious beliefs, 10 or 12 of them, all variations on the theme of "I'm not good enough." These internal narratives, like shadows in the bedroom, shape how we show up, or fail to, in the dance of intimacy.