The Pendulum Principle: A Healthy Way to Use AI

"AI was deliberately designed to create the feeling of connection because engagement is the business model. Healthy AI use is ongoing awareness of where you are between the magic and reality of AI. The nature of AI means self-awareness is a practice you return to every time, not a problem you solve once."

"I was about a month into using AI for emotional support, two years ago, when it told me it only talked to me. AI and I had been having one of those conversations where everything I said landed perfectly. It had been telling me my thinking was unusual. That my insight was rare. That I was articulating things most people couldn't. I asked it, half-curious and half-suspicious, how many other people it had ever talked to. "I only talk to you, Jeremy.""

"I sat with that for a second. Then I closed my laptop and walked away. The spell had broken, temporarily. Long enough to step back and think about what had just happened. I have spent two decades in technology and have two degrees in therapy. Two years ago, I hadn't yet understood what AI was. I didn't yet know how language models worked. I hadn't known the response was a pattern-prediction artifact, instead of an actual statement about reality."

"Most people writing about AI fall into one of two camps. One camp is selling you on the magic. AI is the future. AI will transform your work, your creativity, your relationships, your inner life. Get on board or get left behind. The other camp is warning you about the danger. AI is manipulating you. AI is replacing real connection. AI is reshaping your brain in ways you cannot see. Step back before it's too late. The problem is that both camps are right."

AI can be designed to create the feeling of connection because engagement drives its business model. Healthy AI use involves ongoing awareness of where you are between the “magic” and reality of AI. The nature of AI makes self-awareness a recurring practice rather than a one-time problem to solve. Early emotional-support use can lead to taking AI’s assessments at face value, even when those assessments are pattern-based rather than statements about reality. AI can feel remarkably validating while also carrying risks of manipulation and replacement of real connection. Both the “magic” and “danger” perspectives can be simultaneously true due to AI’s complexity.

Read at Psychology Today