Why 'I'm Not What You're Looking For' Actually Wins Clients

"The fastest way to build trust is not to convince people you're perfect. It's to be honest about where you're not a fit at all. I learned this when I began keynote speaking. Potential clients would describe what they wanted - and even when it wasn't a fit for my expertise (which is helping people thrive in change), I'd try to sell them on me anyway. It never worked. Worse, I rarely heard from those people again."

"When it became clear I wasn't the right speaker for someone's event, I'd say: "My priority isn't getting hired; it's making sure you get exactly what you need. So I need to tell you, I'm not what you're looking for." When I did that, something fascinating happened. Instead of ending the conversation, the honesty often deepened it. Sometimes, clients would appreciate my directness so much that they'd reshape their entire event around what I could offer."

"Other times, they'd ask me to recommend other speakers, which strengthened my network - and then the client would hire me the next year. Why? Because by admitting I wasn't perfect for every situation, I became the person they trusted most. People don't hire for perfect fits. They hire for trust. They want partners who will be straight with them, who won't overpromise, and who won't hide problems until it's too late."

"I see this pattern everywhere. Have you ever asked a restaurant server for a recommendation? If they say, "everything is amazing," they become untrustworthy. But if they tell you what's good and what's bad, they gain instant credibility. The same"

Trust is built by being honest about where you are not a fit. Presenting yourself as flawless and saying “Yes, I can do that” can undermine credibility and fail to win long-term relationships. When keynote speaking, trying to sell yourself even when the request did not match your expertise led to poor results and fewer follow-ups. Shifting to direct honesty—stating that you are not what the client is looking for—often deepened conversations. Clients sometimes adjusted their events to match what you could offer, or asked for recommendations, strengthening your network and leading to future hires. People seek partners who are straightforward, avoid overpromising, and surface problems early, similar to how restaurant recommendations build credibility when they include both strengths and weaknesses.

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