Stop Talking About Yourself and Do These 3 Things Instead

"One of the most counterintuitive lessons senior leaders must internalize is this: Stop talking about yourself. Not just in interviews - in every high‑stakes communication. The instinct to broadcast one's resume, accomplishments or perspective first is so universal that it feels natural. But in strategic leadership, being natural is often being ineffective."

"The most successful leaders I've consulted and worked with across the healthcare, real estate, tech sectors and 20+ industries all share a common trait: They lead by creating relevance first. They then let others ask about them. Know what the other person values To earn attention, build trust and win influence in high-stakes conversations, you have to know what the other party values."

"Let me introduce the value formula. It's a simple, yet effective formula (especially in communication): Value = Relevance + Contrast. When I mention relevance, I'm talking about how relevant it is to the other party. In the context of conversations, the other party would be thinking, "How much of what he's saying matters to me?""

"Now, there's the contrast side of the formula. What I mean by contrast is the contrast (or the difference) in value between what I expected and what I actually got. In the context of a conversation, it could mean that I go into a conversation expecting it to be boring, but turns out that the other person has tons of interesting stories, which keeps me super engaged. That's contrast."

High-stakes communication becomes more effective when leaders stop centering themselves and instead create relevance first. Successful leaders across multiple industries build trust and influence by understanding what the other party values. Attention and engagement come from answering the other person’s question about how much the message matters to them. Value is framed as Value = Relevance + Contrast, where relevance measures personal importance and contrast measures the difference between expectations and what actually happens. Leaders can generate contrast by discovering unexpected stories or insights that keep others engaged. Effective conversations also rely on asking insightful questions, listening more than speaking, and avoiding generic buzzwords.

Read at Entrepreneur