"You get that grace because people understand that it's hard and that people lie, especially early in life as they're trying to figure out not just who they are, but how to be that person in the world. You were literally underage when you told these lies. Yes, people have come to accept them. But now you can tell them, "Actually, I'm ace." If your friends are your real friends, they will say, "I accept that," and they will not hold that lie against you."
"I am a 23-year-old asexual woman and am comfortable with my life. The thing is, when I was 17, I told everyone a lie. I told people I was a lesbian to keep guys from hitting on me, since no one believed me when I said I was an ace or would try to convince me I would change my mind."
An asexual woman lied at 17 and said she was a lesbian to deter male attention. Empathetic people often forgive lies told before someone 'comes out,' particularly when those lies were told during adolescence while figuring out identity. Revealing "Actually, I'm ace" or explaining that she fibbed at 17 and is not interested in sex now is recommended. Real friends are likely to accept the clarification and not hold the earlier lie against her. Labels can change or be discovered over time, so updating friends with a clear, factual statement reduces misunderstandings and avoids going on dates under false pretenses.
Read at Slate Magazine
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