"As an emotional intelligence coach, I've received thousands of emails from readers over the years who get caught up in a cycle of emotional thinking, which leads them to say or do things they later regret. Often, this results in harm to their closest relationships, professional and personal. Here's the thing: Emotions aren't bad. They're what make us human, and that's a good thing."
"When you face an emotionally charged situation, it's easy for emotions to cloud your judgment and cause you to say or do something you later regret. But when you ask yourself, " What advice would I give someone else in this situation?" you take yourself out of the hot seat. You think more clearly, with more balance. To help you use this framework effectively, try to imagine yourself a few years down the road."
Emotions are natural and valuable; the goal is to balance emotions with rational thinking so actions can be ones one is proud of. Simple self-talk phrases can interrupt cycles of emotional thinking and restore balance. Asking 'What advice would I give someone else?' helps create distance and clearer thinking by imagining a future self who has already faced the challenge. Viewing mistakes as part of the learning process reduces fear and supports realistic expectations. When training others, plan for mistakes and allocate additional time. Practicing these approaches builds emotional intelligence and improves responses in emotionally charged situations.
Read at Fast Company
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